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Some apps just make you want to bang your head on a brick wall

A round-up of eleven favourite apps among the millions on offer. They still keep coming because people still keep inventing them.

People still keep downloading them either free or paying out for them. The world’s love affair (obsession) with apps appears to be undimmed. We seem to be ‘app, ‘app ‘appy with the little things.

 

1. Rimshot & Cricket (Apple, free) provides sound effects for every occasion in your life. Want a drum roll of cymbal crash because you told a joke? You got it. Want crickets in the long grass when something goes pear-shaped? It’s yours. Want a slow-hand clap to register disapproval? Have it here.

2. Drunk Dial is handy if you’re drunk and trying to message someone. To prevent you getting onto somebody you may later regret messaging, you have to be steady and not be swaying to put in any number.

3. Annoy-a-Teen (iPhone app) emits high pitched noises that only the young can hear. There is a demo video  which I could scarcely hear, but was told I am too old to pick up the vibes.

4. The Perfect Egg Timer app for those of you who have forgotten how to or didn’t ever know how to boil an egg. Yes, that’s right. An app for boiling an egg!!

5. For all you sports and fitness freaks who need some sort of motivation, Zombies, Run! makes it sound like zombies are after you so you run for your life not to stay fit. There’s a story in it all and you have to collect supplies on the way, presumably to kill the zombies or chocolate to kill them with kindness.

6. Heads Up! is an app version of that old party game where a word is stuck to a person’s forehead and the rest mime it to him or her while he or she guesses what it is. This one, being an app, is held to the head on a phone and records the others miming. Hilarious!! (I’m being sarcastic).

7. Change4Life Drinks Tracker from the NHS is ‘an easy way of tracking your alcohol intake to make sure you’re not drinking too much!’ What, easier than simply counting the glasses going down your throat?

8. When I was researching this blog I found Apples’ Find Me Friends and I thought, ah that will be useful as I have few friends!. Then i saw it was Find My Friends. You have to have friends in the first place before they can hide from you.

9. For those who love the satirical (what, me?) try The Poke. It comes with 50 updates a week and dredges the near bottomless pit of the video, pictures and spoof news story archives of this publication.

10. When you simply have to go, Sitorsquat finds you the nearest place to go with colour coding to tell you if it’s open but not (yet) to rate the paper, washing and other facilities. Very useful for young children and the very old and those who ate too much ginger yesterday.

And finally, iFart is self-explanatory. But the video that shows young women testing it is genuinely hilarious. Probably unintentionally.

Previous blogs about apps:

The App You’ll Want to Keep in the Box, 14 August 2014

Apps Turn Everyone Into Sociopaths, It Seems! 14 July 2014

Two New Apps Bring Anonymous Hurt, Invective, Slurs and Toxicity to the Workplace, 12 May 2014

Free App Ideas Worth a Load If You’re in the Market for Some Free Stuff, 22 January 2014

Round-Up of Some App Recommendations In Case You Haven’t Got Enough Already, 29 October 2013

How the Appy New Year Fills the Void Left by Christmas Now Past, 30 December 2012

If You’re Appy and You Know It … 16 April 2012

Image: Tomas Castelazo